“murder in the lake of flushing meadow park” (3/24/08)
I don’t think it’s a movie . . . yet . . .

“i want to do really rude things with your bottom” (3/24/08)
You’ll do no such thing as long as I can help it!

“why are foreign parents so fucking weird” (3/24/08)
I don’t know. Why don’t you Gogol the answer?

“what did carpetbaggers do?” (3/24/08)
They ran for senate. They trolled for Carhartt Guy in Brooklyn. And occasionally they moved south during Reconstruction to make money.

“stomach rupture fetish” (3/22/08)
Nothing, nothing, nothing surprises me . . .

“how to get a waiter server position without experience” (3/22/08)
Easy . . . lie. Or “embellish” your resume (ask Senator Clinton about that.)

“is nyu an ivy league college” (3/22/08)
Not to worry, I think it’s safely in the realm of “Ivy League or Similar” . . .

“chinese restaurant closed for serving nutria” (3/22/08)
Nutria . . . now that would be . . . incredible.

“bus stopped with a jerk and i got off” (3/20/08)
Oh . . . or not! (My bad!)

“statistics of people who spit in food” (3/18/08)
Nervous, aren’t we?
I can’t say for sure, as it’s not been established as firmly as the fact that the last five percent of a beverage is backwash, for example.