Leagle, Illeagle, An Eagle, A Beagle

“is the high picth mosqutio noise on a phone illeagle in school” (4/2/08)

First things first — learn to spell, then figure out how to take advantage of your teacher’s diminishing hearing.

Again, If You Tried Graduating From There . . .

“did john bowne hs have a criminal record?” (4/1/08)

I didn’t know a whole high school could have a criminal record . . .

One Martini On The Rock, Coming Right Up!

“how to make martini on the rock” (4/1/08)

Not difficult. First, fill a cocktail shaker with ice — easy. Then, a little trickier, anywhere from a splash of dry vermouth to a 1:8 ratio of vermouth and gin or, if you prefer, vodka. If vodka, feel free to shake vigorously. If gin, you should really stir it.

OK, so that wasn’t bad. But a really good “martini on the rock” — and here’s the hard part — requires a consultation with the Algonquin’s on-site jeweler and about $10,000.