“10 things i never want to here from a waiter” (8/1/08)

OK, here goes:

1) “It’s storming and your bedroom window is open.”

2) “My name is Steve and I have a communicable disease.”

3) “Allow me to prove to you that Miranda July’s 2005 film Me and You and Everyone We Know is worth all the fuss.”

4) The Spice Girls’ 1996 hit “Wannabe,” especially that crazy-making “zigazig ha” portion of the chorus.

5) A defense of skinny ties.

6) Apologies for Neil LaBute’s oeuvre.

7) The phrase “Moist panties.”

8 ) Whining or whimpering.

9) Another cover of CCR’s “Have You Ever Seen The Rain?”

10) “Excuse me sir, but your date is passed out in the restroom.”