What’s A Hizzoner?

“why do they call mayor bloomberg’s hizzoner?” (7/14/11)

Just say it. Keep sounding it out. Got it? But just so you know, it’s not just Bloomberg . . .

Um, Deliciousness!

“what happens when you mix thickened cream and eggs together?” (7/14/11)

No Regrets!

“why was nathan hale hanged?” (5/18/11)

It was when the British realized that they were dealing with someone with but one life to lose, as opposed to, say, a cat, in which case they wouldn’t have bothered with such an easy collar.

Picture It As A Giant Talisman That Wards Off Evil Salary Caps

“what is the purpose of the big bat at yankee stadium?” (5/18/11)

Definitely Not What I Wanted To See First Thing In The Morning

“close upvulvas” (5/18/11)

And sometimes I wonder why I keep doing this . . .

Before Eliot Spitzer, The Answer Was “No”

can a steamroller stop (5/12/11)

What People Are Really Searching For: Secret Spot Edition

secluded public restrooms in midtown manhattan (5/12/11)

coney island gay under the boardwalk (5/12/11)

what is the middle of a cheese soufle like (5/12/11)

Makes Me Want To Cry A Little

“i say i’m okay but it’s all a charade” (2) (4/7/11)

And this came in not just once but twice . . . give this person a hug!

No, They’ll Shake Your Hand And Thank You . . .

“will live lobsters snap at you when you take the rubber bands off” (4/6/11)

Do We Have To? Because I’d Rather Not If That’s OK . . .

“bunnies kissing” (4/6/11)

Where Is Grant’s Tomb? (Paris Version)

“where is top floor of eiffel tower” (4/5/11)

You don’t want to hear my sarcastic response, so I won’t give it.

I Knew We Were On To Something With This Hangover Clinic Idea!

Not sure if these two are related, but I like to think so . . .

“las vegas saline iv hangover cure service” (4/5/11)

“what is the most annoying thing a boy can do” (4/5/11)

And That Doesn’t Even Come With Cliff Lee

“beer price yankee stadium” (4/4/11)

“cost of beer yankee stadium” (4/4/11)

“price of beer at yankees stadium” (4/4/11)

“what is the cost of a beer at yankee stadium” (4/4/11)

“premium beer yankee stadium” (4/4/11)

According to various reports, it’s now up to $11.

It Might Not Be What You Were Thinking But The Prices Can’t Be Beat

“best place to have have drinks with a view of the statue of liberty” (4/3/11)

Easy: The Staten Island Ferry! Hook yourself up with a Budweiser tall boy and take in the view . . .

Umm, Why Do You Ask?

“can somebody get arrested for pissing on a subway plataform in nyc?” (4/1/11)

I certainly wouldn’t try it without acknowledging that you might at least get a ticket.

He’ll Give Those With Him 666

“what street is satan’s laundromat on in the bronx?” (4/1/11)

Also the name of a photoblog (do “photoblogs” still exist?), I think you’re thinking of the laundromat that is in Brooklyn, at 666 Fulton Street.

I Actually Had To Look This Up Anyway, So It’s No Skin Off My Back

“how big i the bronx” (4/1/11)

The figure of New York City’s total square miles was revised in 2008 and current statistics show The Bronx having 20,876 acres (.pdf), or 32.61875 square miles. That doesn’t include bodies of water, which would bring the total up to 44 square miles.

Come Again?

“rocy wady rocy wady ab tumhare bina chain na ave ab tanha rha na jaye” (3/31/11)

Though When You Put It That Way It Makes It Sound Like He’s Some Kind Of Contortionist

“staten island man craps on ex girlfriends door” (3/31/11)

I know, weird.

And Now The Fifth Freedom Will Be Freedom From Ever Having A Question Gone Unanswered

“what is going on on roosevelt island south” (3/31/11)

They’re building a park there.

Grammar Advice

“is east spelled with capital e” (3/29/11)

In the future, I suggest searching for something like this instead: “capitalizing east.”

To answer your question, some make a distinction (see here or here, as well) between “East” as a place — as in “I spent time with my relatives back East” — and “east” as a direction — as in “I walked a few blocks east of the park.”

If you have a Chicago Manual — or if you have access to one, the citation for capitalizing geographical terms like compass points is 8.45–46.

I Would Wait Until The 29th Of August, When The Open Actually Begins

“when arrive night session us open” (3/28/11)

If you need me to be more specific, any time before 7 p.m. is good — the seats are all reserved.

A Twist On The Usual “Spit On Your Food” Search . . .

“texans spit on your food” (3/27/11)

Merely anecdotal or is this a larger cultural thing?

For God’s Sake, Don’t Assume You Can Still Eat Any Old Thing You Forgot About For So Long In The Crisper!

“lily bulbs smell bad and are wet” (3/27/11)

Exactly! The Long Lines, The Fact That It’s On An Island . . . And What’s With The Color? Can’t Someone Polish The Damn Thing?

“what is good about the statue of liberty” (3/27/11)

Is This Something We Need To Confront Benny Andersson About?

“supertroopers spit in my food” (3/26/11)

Even If I Knew I Probably Still Wouldn’t Tell You

“how can i get address for sex club in brooklyn” (3/25/11)

Beyond The Fact That It Is Over 700 Miles From DC To Florida, And That Would Be A Really Long Tunnel, I Think The “WWI” Part Is What Really Makes This Request

“tunnel from washington dc to florida ww1″ (3/24/11)

That sounds so bizarre and fantastical that I want to hear more. What, pray tell, are you talking about?

Is That A Threat Or A Report?

“bed bugs butler library” (3/23/11)

Ah, I see — a report.

Perhaps You’re Referring To The Unreleased Bob Dylan Album In Which The Troubadour Collaborates With Modern Pakstani Music Hero Ahmed Rushdi

“pakistan skyline” (3/23/11)