“leave your email address for the waiter” (7/22/08) Unless he’s working on the Obama campaign in his spare time, inadvisable.

“how do you build a homemade indoor pistol range” (7/10/08) First step, keep it way far away from the boiler . . .

“limited edition yankees crocs” (6/26/08) They’ll look great sitting in the closet next to my Mets Uggs.

“sex whitestone bridge” (6/10/08) Is there a worse bridge to have sex on? I can’t think of one.

“pen in ass” (6/7/08) There are so many wonderful things human culture has given us, why stop there?

“song you sing to prove your not drunk” (4/14/08) . . . because it’s a trick question!

“elliot spitzer shirtless” (3/11/08) Ew! Why?

“laws governing the production and sale of hot sauce in nyc” (3/8/08) Fortunately, not yet — as far as we know!

“i am getting married in scotland and want a sinatra style band” (3/1/08) [Takes long swig from glass] “You treat a lady like a dame, and a dame like a lady . . .”

“four yuppies take a road trip through a small town where they arrested for speeding and find themselves trapped in a judge’s theme park of deadly rides” (2/27/08) I’d pitch it as a cross between Psycho and The Big Chill but I wouldn’t hold out much hope.