“a man in nj died from drinking jet fuel and gatorade” (2/24/08) Plus, it doesn’t taste particularly good.

“what to do if you get scotch bonnet in your eyes?” (2/4/08) Actually, just calmly remove them, soak them in milk overnight and scrub out the inside of the eyelids to remove remaining capsaicin.

“dog fucking blogs” (2/2/08) Three of the most annoying people combined into one: dog lovers, zoophiles and the self-obsessed.

“road trip alcohol groundhog day punxsutawney” (2/1/08) And for the love of Phil, please don’t drink and drive!

“wearing flip flops caught in snowstorm” (1/28/08) Sucks to be you.

“baltic area young girls in wildest fuck scenes shown” (1/19/08) Oh no, it’s Baltic Girls Gone Wild!!

“hair stylist free crack” (1/19/08) But do you really want your stylist doing crack?

“seafood knish photo” (1/16/08) That sounds horrible. Horrible!

“hipster beard” (1/12/08) “Hipster”-anything is awful, but “hipster beard” is becoming a daily search referrer annoyance that must stop.

“vermouth and sprite” (1/10/08) Apparently this season’s gin and juice . . .