“mermaid body an face under water in real life found in jamaica” (5/9/08)
You’re hallucinating, man!

“marv albert threesom with a guy?” (5/5/08)
Uh . . . I’m good, thanks. Maybe some other time.

“what is the most important bridge” (4/9/08)
Whichever one you’re on!

“gang initiation day easter 2008 time square” (3/25/08)
Did it not happen this year? Is the absence of news still news? Or did it still happen this year?

“cotton eyed joe meaning” (3/25/08)
For the answer, please return to the Tao Te Ching: “The more you go in search of an answer, the less you will understand.”
Actually, the real meaning is something along the lines of “Dance, Yobbo, Dance, For Mariano Will Close Out The Visiting Team After We Get Up To Bat.”

“statistics of people who spit in food” (3/18/08)
Nervous, aren’t we?
I can’t say for sure, as it’s not been established as firmly as the fact that the last five percent of a beverage is backwash, for example.

“what your crap says” (3/16/08)
It could be, you know, a “What’s Your Poo Telling You?” kind of thing.
Then again, maybe just they’re accusing you of thinking your shit don’t stink . . .

“what percent oy people are over 7 feet tall” (3/13/08)
Good question. Try here first. Not sure where else to look.

“did eliot spizter ever wear a dress years ago” (3/11/08)
Obviously! Especially if he was bedding trannies.

“what a person is called if they ave a sexual fetish for electronics” (2/29/08)
How about just David Pogue?