“sexy bangladeshi girl in astoria queens new york” (3; 6/3/09)
“bangladeshi sexy girl in astoria queens new york” (6/3/09)
I’m sure she’s out there, my friend . . .

“what is ramon estevez doing now?” (4/13/09)
Let’s see . . . I don’t think he’s a manager at Best Buy. Filmwise, looks like not much. Ramon, tell your agent to call us and fill us in and we’ll pass along the info.

“drinks needed to know to bartend an older crowd” (3/23/09)
Two words for you: Wine. Spritzer.

“is there a sack in the turkey you have to pull out?” (3/18/09)
Yes . . . now please find it!

“which school on staten island do italian girls go to?” (1/30/09)
But that’s probably not the case here.

“how did dodos taste” (1/21/09)
PROBABLY LIKE CHICKEN!
OK, I’m done now.
Seriously though — apparently dodo meat tasted bad.

“ironic hipsters” (1/19/09)
Or do you mean people ironically acting like hipsters? I think my brain just collapsed in on itself.

“who is they?” (9/1/08)
On Labor Day, perhaps idling at the beach, iPhone in hand, we ask ourselves the tough existential questions . . .

“mermaid body an face under water in real life found in jamaica” (5/9/08)
You’re hallucinating, man!

“marv albert threesom with a guy?” (5/5/08)
Uh . . . I’m good, thanks. Maybe some other time.