“the new yankee stadium sucks” (4/15/09) Sorry to hear that . . . and to think they haven’t even opened it yet!

“is it ok to have a passover seder by yourself” (4/6/09) Yes, but how do you hide the afikomen? (This makes me want to cry . . .)

“i hate the elderly” (1/21/09) And in general the elderly hates impudent little snotnoses who cocoon themselves on the interweb.

“i slept with him on the first date now what do i do?” (12/14/08) In order of preference: Surely don’t beat yourself up — giving a young man sex on the first date is a very generous thing to do, especially during the holiday season and especially during this fraught economic climate Call him up [...]

“hard to believe that there are not woman out there who would not like to spend time an afternnoon having fun sex in staten island” (12/3/08) Yes, I agree — it’s so so hard to fathom that one . . .

“what does it mean when i dream i was the worst waiter ever” (11/30/08) Add to the fact that you failed as a server and you can see where in the depths of your psyche this type of frustration dream is headed.

“my 5 year old got suspended for verbal harassment” (11/24/08) Sorry to hear it — maybe there’s a problem with adults, too . . .

“i spit in peoples food” (8/26/08) Nice. Assmunch.

“why did i go to law school” (6/11/08) What, you mean it wasn’t to hone your “find and replace” word processing skills for seven years until you don’t make partner?

“i will jump in a garbage truck diapers” (4/22/08) Hells yeah you will!