“just kid sex” (11/20/08) [Shakes head; chin falls to chest]

“pictures of naked children moving bowel along the riverbank” (10/19/08) If Pierre-Auguste Renoir collaborated on Quest For Fire, this might be excusable . . . but even then . . .

“sewage swimming sexual fetish” (10/5/08) And, frankly, I don’t want to live in a world where this exists.

“14 year old boys in jim with bulges in pants stories” (9/17/08) But where is “jim”?

“woman fucking dogs had” (4/22/08) Goodie, I never get to play Mad Libs anymore! How about: woman fucking dogs had two mutts to handle! woman fucking dogs had a “ruff” time! woman fucking dogs had [insert your own here]!

“cesarean pornography galleries” (3/2/08) Please, please tell me you’re joking . . .

“punishment for naughty school girls in the old days and being sent to the naughty corner and stand naked in front of everyone and handcuffed and tied their hands and legs to the table” (2/9/08) Hmm . . . I don’t think it went down exactly like that . . .

“dog fucking blogs” (2/2/08) Three of the most annoying people combined into one: dog lovers, zoophiles and the self-obsessed.

“public night ‘carpark’ pee piss fuck security camera” (1/22/08) And what a night that was. Oh, what a night.

“great danes fuckin their elderly female owners free videos photos only” (1/18/08) Oh god. You’re horrible. And just so you know, truncating gerunds only makes it worse.