I know, weird.

Ah, I see — a report.

Depends on what your definition of an insult is . . . there was this:

Pope Benedict XVI’s three days in New York pose logistical challenges beyond making sure that he’s safe.

Among other things, organizers had to widen some footpaths for the popemobile, figure out how to distribute Holy Communion to 57,000 people and teach schoolkids to sing “Happy Birthday” in German.

They also had to promise to keep the pope and everybody else off the grass at Yankee Stadium.

“The Yankees had only one request, and that is that we not touch their grass,” said Mark Ackermann, who is running the Office of the Papal Visit for the New York archdiocese. “The All-Star game will be there this year and of course we’re all confident that the World Series will be there as well. So the Yankees need to keep it in good shape and we’ve been most respectful of that.”

Poor Mets, losing the last ever home opener at Shea . . .

They did find WWII-era shells on the site of the Tacony-Palmyra Flea Market, but that doesn’t mean you have to run away . . .

Dude, where have you been the last couple of days?

Obviously! Especially if he was bedding trannies.

I suppose they’re trying to figure out what constituted “unsafe” practices on the part of the soon-to-be-former governor?

Wishful thinking . . . I think the facts are a little different.

Ew! Why?

But I don’t have to like it.

Definitely.

Chuck Norris! Though just so you know, it’s a joke:

Action icon Chuck Norris isn’t sure what to make of a hysterical list of “facts” about him making the rounds on the Web. The absurdist send-up, titled “Top 30 Chuck Norris Facts,” lists the butt-kicking B-lister’s imaginary attributes, with particular emphasis on his penchant for delivering roundhouse kicks to the face. Selections include: “Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming ‘Law & Order’ are trademarked names for his left and right legs;” “The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain;” and, “Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.”

Yes, it’s true:

A woman jumped from an Interstate 95 overpass on Okeechobee Boulevard Friday afternoon and was killed when a white delivery van hit her, a police spokesman said.

Thousands of dollars fell out of her pockets and sprinkled onto the interstate when the van hit her, witnesses said. Police were able to gather two $100 bills, but the rest was taken by drivers who stopped, witnesses said.

Wait, aren’t the residents of West Palm Beach the same ones responsible for . . . why yes, they are!

I heard. Sewell Chan broke the story for me. So sad.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the wacky world of the web, there’s this:

“is there a celebrity website about heath ledger’s death in a manhattan apartment?” (1/22/08)

Too soon!

Then there’s:

“michelle williams whereabouts heath ledger’s death” (1/22/08)

Dude, put down the CSI badge . . . let the woman grieve.

Yes, I saw that, it’s horrible.